The Decision
I've wanted to serve a mission since I was 14, but when the time came to submit my papers, I really wasn't sure how I felt about it anymore. 8 months before my birthday, I was ready to start my papers, but then I had the chance to try and do something else (be a seminary teacher). I loved the class I was in and felt the spirit more powerfully and more consistently than I had ever felt in my life. I felt like I was getting constant revelation from the Spirit, and that Heavenly Father was telling me that not only was taking this class the correct decision, but that this was a legitimate career option for me. I felt so good about it that although I knew that the odds were slim of getting chosen to be a teacher, I felt like that was what my Father wanted me to do. I felt ready to dedicate the next year or two to the Lord, whether through seminary or through a mission, because I knew that I had been so blessed in my life, but I definitely wanted to teach seminary.
When I didn't get chosen, I was crushed, but because I had promised Heavenly Father that the next years of my life were going to be His, I started to fill out my papers. I prayed about it, and didn't receive a clear answer. That was really hard for me because I had such clear revelation about the seminary teaching class that to not get the same powerful revelation about a mission was confusing. I really felt like Heavenly Father was okay with either decision. I wanted to serve a mission. I could see myself on a mission and the idea filled me with joy. But I wasn't getting a yes so I was tempted to think I wasn't supposed to go because I was supposed to get married or something. I continued my papers because I wasn't getting the answer no, and because I knew that if I didn't serve a mission when I had the perfect opportunity to do so, I would regret it. I knew that these reasons weren't good enough, but I relied completely on the promise that "ye recieve no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6). I figured that turning my papers in was the trial of my faith, and I really hoped that I would get the answer that I had done the right thing after they were in. I finished my papers.
Then came the delays. I would get what I needed to get done, and then there were all sorts of delays I couldn't do anything about (waiting for a recommendation from a bishop I had never met, Stake President out of town, etc.). I thought those delays meant that I wasn't supposed to go on a mission, and that something else would come out of the blue. After all, hadn't I been doing everything I needed to do and it still wasn't working out? But finally, over a month after I finished my papers, they went in. I was scared during my stake president interview because I still didn't feel a confirmation.
And then came another wait. Both of my roommates got their mission call 10 days after they put their papers in, but I waited 3 and a half LONG weeks. Never in that time did I feel overwhelmingly like I did the right thing, but I was excited, of course. How could you not be excited about finding out where the Lord wants you to serve? :)
Finally, when I was up in Park City at a family reunion, it came!
When I didn't get chosen, I was crushed, but because I had promised Heavenly Father that the next years of my life were going to be His, I started to fill out my papers. I prayed about it, and didn't receive a clear answer. That was really hard for me because I had such clear revelation about the seminary teaching class that to not get the same powerful revelation about a mission was confusing. I really felt like Heavenly Father was okay with either decision. I wanted to serve a mission. I could see myself on a mission and the idea filled me with joy. But I wasn't getting a yes so I was tempted to think I wasn't supposed to go because I was supposed to get married or something. I continued my papers because I wasn't getting the answer no, and because I knew that if I didn't serve a mission when I had the perfect opportunity to do so, I would regret it. I knew that these reasons weren't good enough, but I relied completely on the promise that "ye recieve no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6). I figured that turning my papers in was the trial of my faith, and I really hoped that I would get the answer that I had done the right thing after they were in. I finished my papers.
Then came the delays. I would get what I needed to get done, and then there were all sorts of delays I couldn't do anything about (waiting for a recommendation from a bishop I had never met, Stake President out of town, etc.). I thought those delays meant that I wasn't supposed to go on a mission, and that something else would come out of the blue. After all, hadn't I been doing everything I needed to do and it still wasn't working out? But finally, over a month after I finished my papers, they went in. I was scared during my stake president interview because I still didn't feel a confirmation.
And then came another wait. Both of my roommates got their mission call 10 days after they put their papers in, but I waited 3 and a half LONG weeks. Never in that time did I feel overwhelmingly like I did the right thing, but I was excited, of course. How could you not be excited about finding out where the Lord wants you to serve? :)
Finally, when I was up in Park City at a family reunion, it came!
The Call!
My friend Jackson checked the mail all day for me and texted me as soon as it had come. Jamie went over and picked it up to bring it to Park City. I was incredibly nervous and anxious. Bishop had told me that the call had been assigned so I knew that it was coming, and I kept freaking out about what I had put down. Like, "I'm probably going to go to England because my home stake is in London," and "I'm not going to go foreign because I put some random health problems" and other such nonsence. I knew in my mind that it was going to be inspired, and that if I went to Birmingham that it would be where I needed to go and not because I put my home ward as London. But I kept forgetting for moments.
We were bowling when it finally came.
Everyone took their final guess!
We were bowling when it finally came.
Everyone took their final guess!
Guesses were to all over (although not very many guesses to Asia). I didn't really have any preferences. I was perfectly fine with going to the States- I thought teaching in English would be amazing-- although it's true that I wanted to open it by myself so that if I got called to someone really close, I would be able to have my momentary disappointment by myself instead of making it a show. I would always tell people that I was sure I was going to Russia (because I was scared of going there), Brazil (because everyone from the NW goes there), or Oklahoma. In reality, looking back I think I felt more strongly about Russia and eastern Europe than anywhere else. I thought that if I got called stateside I would be speaking Spanish, but I didn't think I'd get called to a Latin country. But I really had no idea.
I don't know how missionaries don't see their call right away. I got some advice to read it line by line and not look ahead to see where it was, but that didn't happen even a little bit. I looked down right away to see if it was stateside or not so I could prepare myself (silly, I know) and saw the country. I did fine through the first sentence but then when I got to the "you are assigned to labor in," I got really choked up. You can see that in the bottom two pictures. And there it was, I was going to the Chile Antofagasta mission!
Never ever ever in a million years would I have guessed Chile. Argentina used to be my dream mission (back in the days when I was in spanish classes) because I thought the accent was so becautiful, but I thought the Chilean accent was horrible. I've told people that for years too. I used to say that if German and English were the same language, Argentina would be the British accent and German the Chilean accent. Haha! Karma.
For anyone who read the last post about my struggle to feel great about a mission, the trial of my faith WAS over and as soon as I got my call, I felt wonderful and have never looked back. Satan has worked hard on me in the recent months, and I have doubted my abilities and my worth, but I have never since doubted my mission. I know that it is the right thing for me to go!
Never ever ever in a million years would I have guessed Chile. Argentina used to be my dream mission (back in the days when I was in spanish classes) because I thought the accent was so becautiful, but I thought the Chilean accent was horrible. I've told people that for years too. I used to say that if German and English were the same language, Argentina would be the British accent and German the Chilean accent. Haha! Karma.
For anyone who read the last post about my struggle to feel great about a mission, the trial of my faith WAS over and as soon as I got my call, I felt wonderful and have never looked back. Satan has worked hard on me in the recent months, and I have doubted my abilities and my worth, but I have never since doubted my mission. I know that it is the right thing for me to go!
The video of me opening it (not really that exciting): http://youtu.be/D9AcEv7eA7E